Free Spirit; Response!

As long as you use the word Jesus no one will ever see who you really are! By proclaiming it and preaching it every day they think no one can see their face. They're ignorance shows only to those who truly see. The ones that are blind to it are so because they hide under the same mask. They are not humble, or humbled. They are arrogant and judgmental, to the point where sometimes they don't even see it. By then it's usually too late to go back.

They brainwash and corrupt, start wars with the world and right in their own families. Some know what they do, and excuse anything they do that could be taken in a negative way, with the name of the lord.
By doing so the outside world only sees "good", "Christians", the cliché'.

They don't care who they hurt, because they feel they are enlightened in ways no one else could ever be. They are self absorbed.
The ones that are quiet and gentle like an elderly couple from the elderly church, they don't disrespect, they aren't obnoxious, they don't hurt and try to spread to gospel like people are deaf. I respect everything on this earth, even my enemies, for I am not them. I am me. I must always be me. Yet it is so very hard to give respect when they are so cruel.

They treat us like we are dumb, lost, and blind. We need pity, saving, help, and prayer. I'm not deaf, you and everyone that's important to me knows that. That is all that matters. What they don't see is, the way they feel crucified when a religious hate group or anti Christian person blatantly puts them down, kills, or hurts them in any way... it is exactly the way they make me feel every day.

They crucify me, disrespect me and mourn for me, when in all reality, well, they don't see reality. They start their very own holy wars. It gives them ego. And it rubs against their very own beliefs. The beliefs they think people like you and I know nothing about, when in all reality I know the bible through and through, as well as many other religions and what they hold dear. But they are the only real word; so that is all that matters to them.

You spoke the truth right here... "Religion should be kept personal and lived by that person. Otherwise we diminish the very reason this country was started, freedom from any one tyranny! Let’s leave things like the inquisitions in the past and be at peace with each person’s unique beauty!"

The way they "forgive" people like us because "we know not what we do", places us on a cross. They ostracize us, the way their lord was ostracized. They nail our hands, the way their lords were nailed. They look at us while we bleed by their own hands, and still, cover it all, to themselves and the world, in the name of good. In the name of their God. They treat themselves and everyone around them like they have more rights. More of everything internal. After all, how could people like us possibly have anything, without the Christian God? We are missing everything. How could we possibly know life?

I've never had a single problem, personally, with anyone be them Christian or not in my life... but now-- when I am (hopefully) elderly, and awaiting my physical end, and still believe what I do, see what I see, feel what I feel-- I know what is real. I know what is moral. I have nothing to prove.

I could sit here and preach to them, but I can't be like that. I can't be like them. I could tell them they are wrong, but I don't want to say things that will make them feel pain. We, people like us, lay quiet in simplicity and depth, we stay calm and happy in our hearts and spirits, and then these people, they run at us with anger and hatred. Holding weapons of the cross to save us with.

Well, I can give them one thing, they teach me patience. That I mustn't be cruel. I mustn't get angry. I must have control and just keep loving. Though I rebuke such things and people from being in my life and trying to tear who I am, down. They bring me nothing but negativity. I wont allow it any longer. I remain a free spirit, and always will. With lots of love, privacy, solitude, kindness, calmness, and quietness. In all truth... their hurtful actions, words, and forced "guidance", has shown me strength and control, it gives me more wisdom. They open my eyes more, to all the good and bad around us. They are teaching me; let's just leave it at that. All I need is love and compassion, and I must hold it close, and never let people with their "cause" taint my personality and my heart. Ever.

"To deny the reality of things is to miss their reality; to assert the emptiness of things is to miss their reality. The more you talk and think about it, the further astray you wander from the truth. Stop talking and thinking and there is nothing you will not be able to know."~Hsin Hsin Ming

Hot Soups in Cold Weather

Soup recipes I've been hounded for, perfect for the cold weather;
here are two family favorites.

-French Onion Soup-

6 Red Onions
1/4 teaspoon sugar
2 cloves minced garlic
8 cups vegetable stock (or beef stock for meat eaters)
1/2 cup dry white wine (I like using a good Sauvignon Blanc)
1 bay leaf
1/4 teaspoon dry thyme
sea salt & cracked pepper
8 slices of toasted bread, baguette's the easiest to work with.
Grated Swiss Gruyere cheese with a little bit of grated Parmesan

(you can also use butter instead of oil, and yellow onions (or a mix of both) instead of just red. But the above is my favorite way. Sherry is good in it also.)


Saute onions in extra virgin olive oil on med. high
heat until well browned. Add the sugar about ten minutes into the process.

Add garlic and saute for one minute
Add stock, wine, bay leaf, thyme
then partially cover and simmer until flavors are well blended.
(about 30 minutes, sometimes more)
salt & pepper and discard the bay leaf.

Pour soup into (oven safe) bowls, place the toast on top
and sprinkle each with cheese. Put on broiler for ten minutes
until the cheese bubbles and is slightly browned. Serve immediately,
but careful, you'll want the bowls on plates.
Make it yours! =)


-Caramelized Carrot Soup-

2 tablespoons cooking oil
3 cups thinly sliced onion (I use red, again)
2 tablespoons sugar
1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 tablespoons freshly grated ginger (believe me you want fresh ginger root, grate it on the smallest holes on your cheese grater if you have to)
8 carrots (about 1 1/4 lbs.)
6 cups vegetable broth (or chicken broth, again for you meat lovers)
1 medium sweet potato (make sure it's ripe, and buy extra for some fries!)
1 cup light cream (or half & half)
sea salt & cracked pepper, if you want

For caramelized onions, heat oil over medium heat/ Add onion, sugar, and pepper; reduce heat to low and cook, covered, for 30 minutes, stirring twice. Add ginger; cook uncovered, for 20 to 30 more minutes, or until onion is golden brown, stirring occasionally. Divide onion mixture in half.

Meanwhile peel carrots and sweet potato; cut into one inch pieces. In large saucepan combine broth, carrot, and sweet potato. Bring to boiling, reduce heat. Simmer, covered, about 40 minutes or until very tender. Add half of the onions. Puree until nearly smooth with a handheld blender or process two cups at a time in a processor. Add cream, heat through. Salt & pepper if ya want, and garnish with remaining caramelized onions.

Burning Up

Starlight
will be here soon.
I want to live with the stars.
Far away
from this world.

Memories
they take me far away.
I want to separate myself
from this world.
Far away.
Rise above it.
Be one
with the light that brightens
the night sky
the dark sky.

Be one...
one that holds a message
piercing through to all of the
lovers of the night
bearers of disparities
hands of the alone.
Like me...
pain in beauty
beauty in pain.
Lady in the stars.
Woman of the dark.
Red lipstick piercing through
the heart of you.
The heart of the unknown.

Not their hearts,
but ours.
The ones that beat
to an unconventional sanity.
The ones that live and love
for the night.
The night that is lit by the
starlight.
I...
just want to hold it
in my arms.
The night that is lit by
starlight.




Conclusion

So I took a shower after our last email.
A very long shower. Way too hot.
I let the water drain and drain while I lay down
and I just let it pour on me
all over me
cleanse me.
Free me.
With my fingers dripping droplets
I traced a heart on my skin
with both hands
where my heart should be.
I stared at it and--
how quick the water bled away
in every direction.
I repeated this a few times
coming to the conclusion that
it is like my... heart.

I have one. It's there.
It just bleeds. I let it bleed.
I make it bleed.
I want it to bleed.
And I love it
bleeding.
It still beats.
And that's plenty for me.